Monday, April 4, 2011

'The Governator' Trailer Wreaks Havoc on Reality/Human Consciousness

This.... THING.... simply must be seen to be believed:

My first thought, naturally, was that this had to be some sort of joke. A cruel prank James Cameron was pulling on his old buddy Arnie at this momentous point in his already legendary career. But no, it is real, terrifyingly and unapologetically real. More than that, I'm starting to think it might be the perfect weapon, politically and commercially speaking.

Lets break it down:
- It's a cartoon about former governor Arnold Schwarzenegger retiring from politics (which is actually happening)
- He decides not to return to cinema, instead choosing to become a private citizen (which is... sort of happening? Does voice acting count as returning to film? I don't even know)
- When evil robots that can transform into what look like Smart Cars (suck it, Michael Bay) attack, Arnold is forced back into action
- With the help of his team of teenagers (interns?) he runs a complex military facility which houses his weapons, including a combination Kaneda's bike from Akira and Arnold's own hog from Terminator 2: Judgment Day
- Apparently Arnold's now some sort of cyborg/Power Ranger? Also he's been training with Neo from The Matrix?

Those are the facts, presented with minimal commentary. So the question then becomes, how do you make fun of that? Seriously, Arnold's an old dude, he's gained a lot of weight since he went into office (as referenced in his cameo in The Expendables); he's more than likely concerned about his image now that he's returning to... entertainment. This cartoon is literally the most ridiculous thing he possibly could have put out, and seems to predict all possible mockery. What do you say about something that is totally serious about being completely ludicrous? He's subverted any possibility of satire or derision by making it totally clear that he knows. What do you say to that?

The thing that really gets me about The Governator, though, is how fucking mind-bendingly meta it is. Upon retiring, Arnold has decided to make a cartoon about him retiring. Does the Arnold in the cartoon make a cartoon in the cartoon about him not becoming a politically themed superhero? (Note: if that story becomes an episode somehow I want royalties. You are my witness, the Internet) I'm having a mental Crisis on Infinite Earths just thinking about the possibilities. Large Hadron Collider be damned, Arnold Schwarzenegger's cartoon about his own retirement is going to create a black hole that swallows us whole, at least culturally.

On an unrelated note, I hope you'll excuse me if this is the last post for a while. I'm about to go into exams and so I'm probably not going to be posting for a few weeks. Cheers till then!